Vulnerability is the core, the heart, the center, of meaningful human experiences ~Brene Brown
Courageously expressing your vulnerability happens in life moments when you choose to step through your fear and insecurity in order to be honest and open about your feelings.
As author and researcher, Brene Brown Ph.D., explains in her book, Daring Greatly, vulnerability is an unavoidable side effect of being human and is the cornerstone of developing trust and intimacy in any meaningful relationship. Vulnerability asks you to take the risk to just be yourself (the good, bad and ugly) with another even knowing that there are no guarantees you will be heard, accepted or understood.
Why Vulnerability gets a Bad Rap …
In early life, you may have received messages that you were weak if you expressed your deepest emotions and insecurities. You were taught you to hide your feelings in favour of being strong and brave.
Choosing to engage with another from a vulnerable place is not weakness.
It is a powerful stance that represents real courage to feel afraid and uncertain yet shine your true self into the world anyway, even in the face of unknown outcomes. (Think, a writer who has published a book; a public speaker; or beginning a new relationship)
What’s In It for You?
Speaking up, in spite of the risk can:
- Keep you aligned with your values
- Deliver inner peace and relief from having to pretend
- Support immunity from uninvited negative criticism
- Provide strength and fuel to stand up and debate your views
- Give you the confidence to try new things despite unknown results
[…]nothing is as uncomfortable, dangerous, and hurtful as believing that I’m standing on the outside of my life looking in and wondering what it would be like if I had the courage to show up and let myself be seen. ~ Brene Brown –Daring Greatly
Breathwork and Vulnerability …
In order to be vulnerable, you need to release the blocks that prevent reconnection to your authenticity and true worth. You need to set your true essence free so that you can know it in yourself and then express it into the world.
Breathwork provides the pure and extraordinary space to:
- create intentional space and time that opens a path to deep self-knowledge
- move away from distrust of self and toward self-love
- heal through releasing the cellular memories and imprints of past hurts that keep us in shame and encourage hiding our self-expression
Healthy Vulnerability -> Rate yourself:
· Are you willing to own your part in a problem and seek a solution?
· Are you open and willing to embrace the temporary discomfort of change in order to grow and learn?
· Do you try something new in spite of the risk of ‘not getting it right’?
· Do you honestly share any issues that arise with people you care about despite feeling uncomfortable about doing so?
· Can you compassionately acknowledge the upset or sadness of others without judgment (You’ve been there yourself )
· Are you able to ask for what you truly want rather than what you should want? Do you say ‘yes’ when you mean ‘yes’ and ‘no’ when you mean ‘no’?
· Do you feel free to choose to be yourself and risk being seen by saying what you think to those who feel safe?
Being Vulnerable is Your Choice…
It is not a requirement to always ‘keep it all together’. Struggle, sorrow, confusion are yours to experience and express and there is rich potential when these un-beautiful parts of life are shared. It changes the conversation and provides authentic opportunities to deeper understanding and learning in your life and the lives of those with whom you connect.
Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries – Roethke
Recommended Reading: Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead by Brené Brown, Ph.D, LMSW